late night video editing

my first night learning to edit videos in imovie. creativity makes you give up precious things... like sleep.

zoe's first year

zoe turned one year old on april 13th. it's been a great year with zoe kate... there's no way i could have known how life would change when she entered it... and there's no way i can imagine life without her. looking forward to the next one!

the empire strikes back

the blogosphere is always the last to know... two weeks ago (no, maybe three) vanessa and i found out we are expecting again! yep, we're having our third child and the world's second naturally-born foster-whiddon! lexie and i are hoping it's a boy, but i love my girls, so if the estrogen level rises in our family i guess i'll be OK with it! if it's a boy, his name will be holton daniel and if it's a girl, she'll be karis olivia.

vanessa's nauseous and moody... the first trimester was bad last time, too... but we'll make it through. at this point we're saying that this will be our last addition to the empire... a full set of foster-whiddons it is!

enlargment of the heart

no... not the medical condition... the spiritual one! God is really doing a lot in me right now... he's giving me so much clarity regarding my personal purpose in life. everywhere i turn i hear God speaking the same message - "i called you to love you first and for you to serve me second! seek me, not ministry!" it sounds so simple... it's just the great commandment and great commission in their proper order, but Jesus is drawing me to such a deeper place of purposeful intimacy and it is revolutionary for me. i'm amazed at what God is doing.

i'm mentoring a couple of high school guys right now... jesse underwood and adam eubanks. jesse is in 9th grade and is a guitarist/singer/songwriter. adam is in 10th grade and he is a bassist. both of the guys are in a worship band called "crossing 47"... which is INCREDIBLE. jesse and adam have such phenomenal hearts for God; they love to pray and worship and are becoming passionate in their pursuit of Jesus. i'm supposed to be mentoring them but they really encourage me! i meet once a week individually with each of them; we also attend our tuesday morning "youth prayer" meeting at 6:30AM in the youth worship center at our church and the monthly "school of prayer" that happens on the last monday evening of the month.

my request of Jesus is this - "show me your heart. i want to really know what's in your heart toward me." i know academically that God loves me, but i want to walk in his passion every day of my life because i know that i cannot love him unless i am experiencing his love for me... and i desparately want to love Jesus more.

bands i've been listening to

mutemath, mainstay, misty edwards, cool hand luke (jim deserves a "thanks!" for this one). bands i've resurrected from the library recently - rose blossom punch, starflyer 59, denison marrs. it's amazing how musical tastes grow... there are bands i used to LOVE that i can hardly listen to now... over time i've become more critical and i notice the flat pitches and weak songwriting... NOT THAT I CAN DO BETTER, just that i know better. bands i've stumbled across online - half-handed cloud (heard about him first at c-stone '01)... i like his simplistic style... he's "in" with danielson and soul-junk (surprise, surprise!) and reminds me of some of the indie-pop bands from athens like "of montreal" (not necessarily a recommendation... just a comparison).

quarterly post - part 2

sorry... i cut the last one short... i was filling in for the receptionist for a few minutes at her desk and she came back before i was finished. now i'm in our video guy's office duplicating the promo DVDs that will mail out today for our O.N.E. weekend event. this year's theme is "simple 06" and our tagline is "following jesus isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be complicated." we'll be talking about having a heart-level, love relationship with God that goes beyond the christian "list" that we all tend to gravitate toward. it's going beyond duties and getting to desperate love... can you tell i'm excited about this?!

quarterly update :)

thought i'd check in and post... to let you know that i'm still alive, if anybody even takes time to look at my blog (seeing that it's never updated!)

yesterday was zoe's first birthday. i'll try to get a picture posted here... we had some taken with a photographer in town. if you're from moultrie, you might remember her... her married name is carrie viohl (maiden name - carrie fleetwood). if you went to school at emmanuel when i did you may know her brother, clint fleetwood (married anna fountain). i was very impressed with her professionalism and the quality of her photos. check her website out at www.carrieviohl.com. on the main page, scroll down until you see "lexie and zoe". they're SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

things at church are busy (as usual). we're preparing for easter sunday this sunday, churchwide picnic next sunday, our annual O.N.E. weekend for teens two weeks after that, graduation sunday after that, camp @ the beach after that... then we get a break! i love my job, though... my family is learning to live at peace in the middle of all of this. it's a big adjustment but we're making it.

salvation makes a subtle sound (unless you turn the gain up REALLY high)

so here's the deal... i don't have internet access at my house right now. vanessa and i traded our home phone line for two cell phones and we don't have cable or direct tv, so we don't currently have access to cable internet or whatever, so anything i write i have to do it from work. and just in case anybody from church is reading, i'm doing all my blogging BEFORE OR AFTER work from my office. despite what you've heard, youth pastors don't always surf the net under the guise of "sermon research"!

the most exciting thing happening in moultrie right now... the old crew is reconveining in mo-town! buddy (illian) and scott (turner) have been in town for a while, but recently clint (knight) moved back and now jonap (jonathan napier) is considering relocating his clan to "the city of southern living"! a little history lesson... jonap, clint and i played together from about '94 until about '99 in a band called "joshua generation." the only former member that's not around is jim fountain, who is still settled somewhere around hartwell, ga (last i heard). buddy and scott were friends of ours in high school who had a great rock band called "stinkbomb" that they converted to a christian rock band named "j.a.r." joshgen and j.a.r. played LOTS of shows together over the years and we often swapped members back and forth under special situations.

so the next natural question... is a new band in the works? we don't really know. we all got together last saturday night to play for a couple of hours (we were only missing buddy). it was, well... INCREDIBLE!!! i absolutely LOVE playing with these guys... there's nothing that can take the place of friendships that were forged through years of music and countless hours of hanging out. that kind of connection comes through the music. i'm excited... i don't know what will happen, if anything, but it's incredible to be with such great friends again. jim, we miss you!

yes, i'm still here

sorry for the lack of posting... jonap constantly reminds me that i'm a horrible blogger. in fact, he actually had to leave michigan and visit moultrie to convince me to lose my lazy blogging habits and post. so, for all of you who might happen to swing by with faint but jaded hopes that something new would be here... i'm back! (at least for now... no promises!)

reading: recently i've read through matthew 5-7 (olivet discourse), joel, hebrews... i'm usually reading psalms, but recently i've gone back to proverbs for devotional reading.

listening to: switchfoot "nothing is sound," sarah brendel "sarah brendel," merchant band "merchant band"

this one's for fawn...

great things are happening right now; led a series of "dream meetings" with my core youth workers to review the last ministry year and strategize for the next; played Jesus for vacation bible school; finished watching episodes IV, V & VI of "star wars" - aniken is restored, the empire is defeated and the galaxy is safe again.

i'm also very excited about a few new CDs. i'm currently stoked about the new projects from house of heros and kids in the way. as i write i'm listening to "better days" by robbie seay band. i highly recommend it... laid-back, well-written, electric guitar-driven worship. pretty unique.

for those of you in youth ministry, i recommend checking out the CD teaching series "the decades speak" by jeanne mayo. she is an assemblies of God youth pastor who has been at it for 30+ years. this series features 30 life lessons from her three decades of ministry to teens. the principles on these CDs are priceless... not programming ideas or strategies, but true wisdom that gets right to the heart of youth ministry. VERY good stuff! you can order it at www.youthsource.com.

visited with my cousins woody and rachel weeks last sunday. they're in the process of moving to ft. lauderdale, florida as woody begins medical school. vanessa and i hope to take the girls down to visit them for a little family vacation after i get back from student life camp in south padre island, tx. looking forward to camp... charlie hall is the worship leader and erwin mcmanus is the camp pastor, hence the trek to texas!

i want to encourage you guys to spend some serious time enjoying God. over the last year i've allowed myself to get so busy with leading a new youth ministry that i've neglected that to which i know God has called me - a simple life of seeking Him. so much of what mr. oxley said during my years at e.c. comes back to me... it really is all about knowing Jesus. let's push back against the urgent and make time to really be with God... not to prepare a lesson, but to love him. oswald chambers said, "it is much easier to do something than to trust in God; we see the activity and mistake panic for inspiration. that is why we see so few fellow workers with God, yet so many people working for God. we would much rather work for God than believe in him." it is so simple, but it's the key to all of what we're called to be... our lives spent in pursuit of the Pursuer. do i really believe that he is able to take care of my "to-do" list if i'll make seeking him my first priority? what we're doing in ministry is not nearly as important as whether or not we are recklessly abandoned to knowing the person of Jesus Christ. everything else will take care of itself. sorry to sermonize, but this is where my heart is right now.

music & books

what is everybody reading and listening to these days? here are some of the books and albums that i've really enjoyed over the last year or so:




ALBUMS
"altitude" by yellow second (top of the list - i love it!)

"free to conquer" by subseven

"mmhmm" by relient k

"hide nothing" by further seems forever

"bullet" by mat kearny

"monk & neagle" by monk & neagle

"hymns ancient and modern" by the passion worship movement



i like what i've heard by these bands but haven't actually listened to the whole album: kids in the way (rock & roll!!!), house of heros, the chemistry, 4th avenue jones, disciple (their new stuff sounds great)




BOOKS

"ordering your private world" by gordon mcdonald (top of the list - i've set a goal to read it anually)

"waking the dead" by john eldridge

"building true disciples" by george barna

"your first two years in youth ministry" by doug fields (got started late on this one! :)

"developing the leader within you" by john maxwell

reconnected

it's healthy to reflect on our lives. we break the timeline of existence into periods marked by major events and it's easy to live so focused on the current period with momentary glances to the immediately previous one that we forget how life looks from the "big picture" perspective. reflection really gives us a glimpse at ourselves from God's view... the whole parade at one time, grand marshall to street sweeper all in the same picture.




i started this blog almost three years to today's date! since that time my life has undergone dramatic (and welcome) changes. in recent days i've found myself in contact with friends (mostly from emmanuel college) with whom i lost contact for a while... some i outright neglected because of the "tyranny of the urgent" in my life. because of my closest long-time friend's blog (jonap... see links), i was reminded that i had an existing blog, too! in fact, so do MANY of the people who meant so much to me during my undergrad career.




reading their thoughts and reviewing my own past blog posts drive the point home... the past is important. it's almost insulting to refer to these friendships with the term "the past"... they are part of the big picture and they influence who i am. they are VERY important. praise God for technology... thanks to this platform, friends distributed from michigan to the ukraine can still influence us in this current period and aren't necessarily resigned to memories simply because of miles. for four years i have missed the relationships that developed at ec and i'm glad to reconnect now. it's good to be back in this incredible community!

I have come that they may have ZOE, and have it to the full! (john 10:10b)

the first person ever born with the last name foster-whiddon... zoe kate! born april 13, 2005... 7lbs 6oz, 19" long.

an hour or two before zoe's arrival via c-section

it's the most powerful weapon a foster-whiddon woman can wield (say it again!)... the infamous pout!

april 13th

about 3AM the morning of zoe's birth... mom's in labor, daddy's showered, and everybody's ready to rush to the hospital! (irony = zoe was born at 6PM that night!!!)

lexie lou

alexis is 7 years old and will finish the first grade this week. she loves music, baby dolls, and stories. she is the main character in our ongoing bedtime superhero saga, "the adventures of tuna tongue."

the worldwide population of foster-whiddons has doubled

i married vanessa holton on november 29, 2003. we met when i was serving cool springs free will baptist church as youth pastor... my first ministry assignment after graduating from emmanuel college. vanessa was serving as the youth director at southside baptist church in the same tiny town of norman park. we actually went to the same elementary school as kids, but i never knew her... just her two older sisters!




the foster-whiddon wedding (thanks for the great photo, gina!)

latest news: A) i just returned from speaking at a week of junior camp at camp caleb in flat gap, kentucky and a week of teen camp at camp echeconnee in lizella, ga and i'm ready to hibernate, B) i finally have a four-track, so i'll begin demo work on new stuff and archiving old stuff shortly, which means there will be posted versions in the somewhat near future, C) a friend, heath mcnease, just released his first studio hip-hop album under the name "verbal essence"... it's indie and very good. i'll post purchasing info as soon as i get it.

jonap once made the comment that a lot of internal dialogue rolls around in my head; he compared it to the narration on "the wonder years." my attempts to sort through current issues and thoughts and determining what God is showing me in it all constitutes most of this dialogue... this is where i am now:

what is "saved"? we usually think of a dramatic conversion experience where a person prays and is dramatically altered by a touch from God. this does happen... to a degree, it happened to me... but this understanding of salvation is so mystical and emotional that it's hard to grasp and even harder to identify in someone's life. my definition of salvation is shifting a lot right now, and i believe it's becoming much more new testament friendly. jim fountain shared a thought with me when we were in high school that really caught me off guard - there is no biblical account of Jesus ever praying the "sinner's prayer" with anybody. in fact, the formula we take people through to "get saved", though it is pieced together from things Jesus and paul said, isn't reflected in the scriptures in any resemblance of its current form.

when Jesus challenged people and led them to God, what did he do? he challenged them to believe. what did abraham do that caused God to consider him righteous? he believed what God told him. what constituted believers in the new testament? those who heard the good news and believed. that looks pretty elemental now that i've typed it out, but its significantly separated from what we call "salvation" today. biblical salvation is simply taking God at his word. it's believing that God is real. it's believing that he is who the bible reveals him to be. it's trust that he'll fulfill his promises. it's turning from a mindset that doubts God and is critical of him to a state of the heart that believes him in accordance with what he has said and what he has done through creation, history, and the cross. this view of salvation may seem very elemental, but i think it's important that we de-mystify it. salvation is simply trusting Jesus.

secondly, kyle mcnease (heath's older brother) and i had a conversation on doubting verses faith the other day that is worth thinking about again. the mindset of our society is extremely relativistic. it's natural to want to grab any thought that comes your way and examine it from every possible angle in order to determine its validity. a problem arises when someone raised in a relativistic culture goes through this examination process: we tend to be VERY hesitant to discard a philosophy because we're afraid that for some person somewhere it may be true. we are convinced that reality changes to accomodate the person experiencing it. it is true that we do experience reality through our own filters of preconcepetions and experience, but that doesn't mean that the fabric of reality shifts because i see something differently than another does. we are looking at the same reality but different aspects of it affect us differently. however, we all strive to see it more clearly, to understand it in truth. many believe there is no "true" way to see reality... but those of us who have chosen to believe Jesus and the bible have, in chosing to believe, forfeited the convenience of harboring a relativistic world view. the Holy Spirit has provided scripture to help us see the fabric of reality more clearly. Jesus came so we can experience reality in truth. in chosing to believe Jesus, we have chosen to reject all others (which reminds me of the awesome husband & wife analogy that God loves so much). faith is a choice, and we need to live in an understanding of the existence of imperical truth.

i got in yesterday from jonap's wedding. it was a lot of work and a lot of fun.

i'm not sure why i keep coming back and posting to this page. nobody's reading it - in fact, i don't know that anybody other than brittnye, scott, and holmes even know that this website is up. when my head is pregnant with thought, i have to find some way to write it down. i'm not a daily journaler... my writing has more of an event-inspired regularity. by the design of God i'm a writer. so, my head is heavy and i'm here again.

sometimes in the christian life a cloud descends around your ears. it seems that just days before i could see for miles... my direction was clear and my compass was on cue. then, almost overnight, i've become spiritually autistic... locked inside a box of my own thoughts and emotions. in the midst of all that is concerning, i'm praying for that candle-flame of the voice of God to spark and drive the darkness from the room. Jesus, please make it all make sense. Holy Spirit, i need you to speak to me.

apparently i'm going through a pretty strong writing season. i have several songs that i started but can't seem to get past the first verse and chorus lyrically, but i completed a new song in just a few days last week. it's called :breaking up is hard to do:. like most of the songs i'm writing now, it's written with God as the speaker. also like most of my other new[er] songs, it uses a familiar human situation to help us understand God's love for us - this time it's the pain caused by the breakup of a relationship that was particularly special. i have a feeling that if we could experience God's emotions, ours would prove to be a weak facsimile in comparison.

i've also started rewriting lyrics for the songs :progress:. it may undergo another name change once i'm finished. it's pretty bold... this is what i have so far: raise your head sleeper | wipe the slumber from your eyes | unite with me drunks | unite adulturers | fellow murderers and theives | our love is calling || it's in my head, it's in my ear | all you'd ever hoped that you would hear | but i am just a voice calling out | :the Lord is come | let earth receive her king.: