(01/28/03 journal entry)
My Christian walk has been a very serious journey since its first days, but I'm afraid somewhere along the way I've either convinced myself or allowed the devil to convince me that to take Jesus seriously means that I have to strive for perfection.
Striving for perfection has done a great job of robbing my life of two very important Christian prizes - grace and joy. I don't give myself any slack - how can God? Surely he holds me to a higher standard that I hold for myself. Constant striving for perfection coupled with a deficiency of grace has made my life worrisome; my burdens are not light because I won't let them be and the weight of them kills my joy.
Lord Jesus, allow me to listen to your Spirit - stop striving for perfection and start striving for you. Not striving to make myself who you are because that is impossible; simply striving to know you, to love you, to be with you. Let my Christian walk stop being focused on the Christian and start being focused on Christ.
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