i got in yesterday from jonap's wedding. it was a lot of work and a lot of fun.

i'm not sure why i keep coming back and posting to this page. nobody's reading it - in fact, i don't know that anybody other than brittnye, scott, and holmes even know that this website is up. when my head is pregnant with thought, i have to find some way to write it down. i'm not a daily journaler... my writing has more of an event-inspired regularity. by the design of God i'm a writer. so, my head is heavy and i'm here again.

sometimes in the christian life a cloud descends around your ears. it seems that just days before i could see for miles... my direction was clear and my compass was on cue. then, almost overnight, i've become spiritually autistic... locked inside a box of my own thoughts and emotions. in the midst of all that is concerning, i'm praying for that candle-flame of the voice of God to spark and drive the darkness from the room. Jesus, please make it all make sense. Holy Spirit, i need you to speak to me.

apparently i'm going through a pretty strong writing season. i have several songs that i started but can't seem to get past the first verse and chorus lyrically, but i completed a new song in just a few days last week. it's called :breaking up is hard to do:. like most of the songs i'm writing now, it's written with God as the speaker. also like most of my other new[er] songs, it uses a familiar human situation to help us understand God's love for us - this time it's the pain caused by the breakup of a relationship that was particularly special. i have a feeling that if we could experience God's emotions, ours would prove to be a weak facsimile in comparison.

i've also started rewriting lyrics for the songs :progress:. it may undergo another name change once i'm finished. it's pretty bold... this is what i have so far: raise your head sleeper | wipe the slumber from your eyes | unite with me drunks | unite adulturers | fellow murderers and theives | our love is calling || it's in my head, it's in my ear | all you'd ever hoped that you would hear | but i am just a voice calling out | :the Lord is come | let earth receive her king.:

it's always encouraging when one of those moments arise when you realize just how much you've grown. teaching middle school kids makes me thankful that God has given me opportunities to be changed and let my worldview expand. i thank God for friends whose influence on my life have been dramatic, even if i don't usually recognize the importance of their impact. i'm glad i'm not who i used to be, and i'm excited to see who i'll become.

this is were i'll post thoughts on a random basis. -efw